I myself as a single 20-year-old woman, who has never been in a relationship, this being by choice, is constantly asked every time I say that I am happy being single, why? I always answer them, I am a woman who enjoys her own independence and would rather focus on developing a stable career for myself before I even consider the thought of having to please someone else. It’s the way I was raised and I am very thankful to my mother for this value. I am not saying that if someone came along that I was madly in love with, or at least could myself leading in that direction, I would turn them away and tell them I’d rather focus on myself, but I will never go out and look for a relationship to feel fulfilled with my life.

As a whole we very much live in a society that has very much focused (straight) women needing a man to feel whole, protected, financially stable, and happy. Traditionally women had no choice to be like this as history women were the bearer of heirs and keepers of homes. This is the 21^st Century not the 19^th, this no longer happens. Women work, women fall in love with other women, women work, women can carry and birth children if they chose, not because that is their perceived ‘role’, and women can do whatever a man can.

I am sick and tired of constantly being viewed sad, lonely, or like I have something wrong with me, from family, friends, and random strangers I meet, and especially my hairdresser, asking why, why I am single. I’m not sick of being asked because it may be invasive and rude, but sick and tired because it a conditioned way of thinking for women in particular to think that need to be with someone or they cannot cope. I do not feel sad because I have no one to ‘support’ me, but I feel sad for those who feel like they have to have someone and cannot live without anyone because they will never know how to be on their own with full independence. It’s a skill that all people should know; how to survive on their own.

I know a strong single woman who recently bought her first house completely on her own. Whilst I was cheering for her the male Realtor was viewing her as a sad lonely woman. He specifically asked her what her partner’s name is, to which she told him that she was single and buy this house completely on her own. The Realtor in is backwards early 20^th Century mentality, told her that she would soon find a man to help her out. Now, first I find his mentality sexist and completely outdated, but secondly and more importantly, she bought her first house which is amazing and she got an official apology from the Realtor’s boss. She knows how to be on her own and is an inspiration to all young girls. As she is a teacher, I really hope she takes that to teach her students about independence.

I want people to know that being single and living on your own does not equal lonely and uncared for, but means independence and a lot of self-love. I personally would rather live with my best friends or on my own at this present moment in time as I value my independence very highly. Independence is not something to be ashamed of, but rather something to be celebrated and praised, for everyone.